Recent Reads: Studies of History

Out there. The mind of the river
as it might be you.

Lights blotted by unseen hulls
repetitive shapes passing
dull foam crusting the margin
barges sunk below the waterline with silence.
The scow, drudging on.

Lying in the dark, to think of you
and your harsh traffic
gulls pecking at your rubbish – natural historians
mourning your lost purity
pleasure cruisers
witlessly careening you

but this
after all
is the narrows and after
all we have never entirely
known what was done to you upstream
what powers trepanned
which of your channels diverted
what rockface leaned to stare
in your upturned
defenseless
face.

~Adrienne Rich
1986

Recent Reads: The Fact of a Doorframe

The Fact of a Doorframe

means there is something to hold
onto with both hands
while slow thrusting my forehead against the wood
and taking it away
one of the oldest motions of suffering
as Makeba sings
a courage-song for warriors
music is suffering made powerful

I think of the story
of the goose-girl who passed through the high gate
where the head of her favourite mare
was nailed to the arch
and in a human voice
If she could see thee now, thy mother’s heart would break
said the head
of Falada

Now, again, poetry,
violent, arcane, common,
hewn of the commonest living substance
into archway, portal, frame
I grasp for you, your bloodstained splinters, your
ancient and stubborn poise
-as the earth trembles-
burning out from the grain

~The Fact of a Doorframe,
Adrienne Rich

On Repeat

A song that has been on my playlist for more than a while – Tori Amos’ cover of Leonard Cohen’s Famous Blue Raincoat.

It’s four in the morning, the end of December.
I’m writing you now to see if you’re better.
New York is cold, but I like where I’m living.
There’s music on Clinton Street all through the evening.

I hear that you’re building your little house deep in the desert.
You’re living for nothing now.
Hope you’re keeping some kind of record.

Yes, and Jane came by with a lock of your hair.
She said that you gave it to her,
On the night that you planned to go clear.
Did you ever go clear?

Last time I saw you, you looked so much older,
Your famous blue raincoat, torn at the shoulder.
Been to the station to meet every train.
You came home alone without Lilly Marlene.
You treated my woman to a flake of your life,
And when she came back, she was nobody’s wife.

Well, I see you there with a rose in your teeth-
One more thin Gypsy thief. I see Jane’s awake.
She sends her regards.
Mmm… heaha… heh-ha… mmm-mmm…

What can I tell you, my brother, my killer,
What can I possibly say?
Hey, I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you,
I’m glad you stood in my way.

If you ever come by here for Jane or for me,
Well, your enemy is sleeping now an’ his woman is free.
Well, thanks for the trouble you took from her eyes.
I thought it was there for good, so I never tried.

And Jane came by with a lock of your hair.
She said that you gave it to her,
On the night that you planned to go… clear.
Sincerely, L. Cohen.

Lyric Snippets of the Day

“Hey Jupiter
Nothings been the same
So are you gay?
Are you blue?
Thought we both could use a friend to run to”

~ Hey Jupiter, Tori Amos

“Once I wanted to be the greatest
No wind or waterfall could stop me
And then came the rush of the flood
Stars at night turned you to dust
…
Lower me down
Pin me in
Secure the grounds
For the later parade”

~ The Greatest, Cat Power

“Here in this hole that we have fixed
we get futher and further and further
from what we must do
I saw you asleep beside a hole
your skull inside that hole
your eyes blackened by the sound and the thought of god
where should I hang my head?
where would you like for me to hang my head?”

~ In This Hole, Cat Power

“I’m not sure who’s fooling who here
as I’m watching your decay
we both know you could deflate
a 7 hurricane
you could have spared her – oh but no
messiahs need people dying in their name
you say “i ordered you a pancake”
you say “i ordered you a pancake”

~ Pancake, Tori Amos