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Archive for the ‘Authors, Artists, Lives, Lessons’ Category

Recent Reads

In Authors, Artists, Lives, Lessons on November 10, 2009 at 4:09 am

I have hit a writing plateau. My poetry is terrible (not improving) and I cannot even begin to write prose. My words are weak. There is SOME thing I want to say, that is swimming around in my head but I can not for the life of my find the right words.

And so, I have been reading. Amazingly, Adrienne Rich is not at the top of the list this time (because I do not have the time!). Only assigned course readings but fun ones…well, my version of fun…which involves staring for hours at the blank space between the lines, trying to figure out what the writer has implied.

Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye – I read this before, about an year ago when I borrowed it from the college library (also where I discovered Rich). Loved it ever since. It is, stripping down to the bare essentials, a story of a little black girl named Pecola. Of course, that isn’t the real story. It never is.

Doris Lessing’s The Cleft - half way through this interestingly topsy-turvy retelling of the origins of “man” quite literally. That is, a boy child being born in a pre-existing community of women. It is interesting because although it is topsy-turvy, a lot of the conventional “female” attributes and roles are assigned to the first women. The novel explains it as the story being translated by a male historian presumably in Rome’s early ages. Even so, I think there is more to it. I will be posting a review of this soon, if I can manage it between…everything there is to be done.

I have also been researching on the Villanelle form for my english paper and have found beautiful poems by Marilyn Hacker, Martha Collins, Theodore Roethke and how can we forget Leonard Cohen! Click and enjoy your mind being turned to blissful mush.

On my shelf, waiting to be “completed”, are a billion other titles (well, 13 at least). But I must first complete a bunch of assignments and extra curriculars and yes…generally manage my time a hell of a lot better.

Signing out!

More on my readings of Adrienne Rich

In Authors, Artists, Lives, Lessons on October 10, 2009 at 10:14 am

I have been devouring Adrienne Rich’s works by the book-full for the past month – since uni started and I could freely borrow what I wanted from the beautiful, calming, liberatingly massive collection of books they’ve got. And this isnt even the tip of the ice-berg yet.

I have noted a bunch of authors, women, that Adrienne has referred or referenced to in her works. I intend on reading their complete works as well. Once I’m done with Adrienne of course. (I prefer saying Adrienne to Rich because her work is simply so personal, so much her own that to distance her from it by using simply her last name would be…meh)

At the moment I’ve checked out two of her books, Of Woman Born – Motherhood as Experience and Institution, and On Lies, Secrets, and Silence. In contemplating her work, any of her work be it poetry or prose, I have found a much needed affirmation, a refreshingly female perspective on what it means to be female. I’m sure all of this sounds like “feminist tripe” but having struggled with personal identity for as long as I can remember, finding a voice that makes so much sense provides immeasurable relief and strength.

I cant claim to understand what pains Adrienne Rich has been through, how much she has suffered to come to this point of realization..or several realizations..to then voice them, live by them. I cannot even begin to imagine. But what amazes me is her ability to identify all the major issues surrounding the collective female experience (not just her own) within a (still) patriarchal society. What amazes me more is her ability to understand and come to terms with these issues, to then present them in a way that may be understood by others. What it comes down to, really, is the strength to write the complete, unadulterated, unfiltered, stark truth. And to then learn to deal with it.

I hope to meet her some day, attend a reading or some other event and tell her how her words have acted as glue between fragments of myself that I had lost, was losing or would have lost. I wonder how lost still I would be had I never chanced upon The Fact of a Doorframe at my college library, and found in it a voice – a female voice – of strength, purpose, sincerity and disillusionment. I am tempted to say I wish I had found this voice sooner, but I might not have been ready then. I look at my sleeping sister and despite the tumult of emotions I have felt since her birth two years ago, I want to be this voice for her – this voice that refuses self-destruction, powerlessness and objectification. I want to be this voice. I want to be this person.

The Works of Adrienne Rich

In Authors, Artists, Lives, Lessons on October 3, 2009 at 4:12 am

I stare in awe at her books, not daring to read them or even to touch them. Sitting in front of the arrangement, I look briefly at the floor (in respect and shame) and wonder what gives me the right to say I can understand and relate. What gives me the right to even read her words?

I sit in front of the books expecting judgment. Like a virtuous lad ready to be knighted or a convict beheaded. I sit in the presence of her words that seem to live outside of themselves…and finally, finally gather enough courage to reach out and pick one.

I have it on my bed now – the book itself a force. And I wonder if ever she felt as weak and displaced as this, if ever she scanned a room for places to hide; or if the strength came to her from infancy, if there was no other way to live than to stride forth and announce her presence.

Extract – Nausea by Jean-Paul Sartre

In Authors, Artists, Lives, Lessons on April 19, 2009 at 6:14 pm

When she is alone in rooms, I hear her humming to prevent herself from thinking. But she is morose all day long, suddenly weary and sullen.

She suffers like a miser. She must be miserly too with her pleasures. I wonder if sometimes she doesnt wish she could be free of this monotonous suffering, of these grumblings which start up again as soon as she stops singing, if she doesnt long to suffer once and for all, to drown herself in despair. But in any case, that would be impossible for her: she is too set in her ways.

In Authors, Artists, Lives, Lessons on April 8, 2009 at 6:14 pm

Its not going to stop
No, its not going to stop
till you wise up

~ Aimee Mann

Recent Reads: Studies of History

In (Not)Semi-Poetic Gibberish, Authors, Artists, Lives, Lessons on March 8, 2009 at 12:56 am

Out there. The mind of the river
as it might be you.

Lights blotted by unseen hulls
repetitive shapes passing
dull foam crusting the margin
barges sunk below the waterline with silence.
The scow, drudging on.

Lying in the dark, to think of you
and your harsh traffic
gulls pecking at your rubbish – natural historians
mourning your lost purity
pleasure cruisers
witlessly careening you

but this
after all
is the narrows and after
all we have never entirely
known what was done to you upstream
what powers trepanned
which of your channels diverted
what rockface leaned to stare
in your upturned
defenseless
face.

~Adrienne Rich
1986

Once I wanted to be…

In Authors, Artists, Lives, Lessons on January 27, 2009 at 10:45 pm

the greatest
no wind or waterfall could stall me
and then came the rush of the flood
stars in mind turned deep to dust

[I dont know why I'm doing this. I want to write.

Lower me down
pin me in
secure the ground
for the later parade.

Recent Reads: The Fact of a Doorframe

In (Not)Semi-Poetic Gibberish, Authors, Artists, Lives, Lessons on January 18, 2009 at 6:13 pm

The Fact of a Doorframe

means there is something to hold
onto with both hands
while slow thrusting my forehead against the wood
and taking it away
one of the oldest motions of suffering
as Makeba sings
a courage-song for warriors
music is suffering made powerful

I think of the story
of the goose-girl who passed through the high gate
where the head of her favourite mare
was nailed to the arch
and in a human voice
If she could see thee now, thy mother’s heart would break
said the head
of Falada

Now, again, poetry,
violent, arcane, common,
hewn of the commonest living substance
into archway, portal, frame
I grasp for you, your bloodstained splinters, your
ancient and stubborn poise
-as the earth trembles-
burning out from the grain

~The Fact of a Doorframe,
Adrienne Rich

On Repeat

In (Not)Semi-Poetic Gibberish, Authors, Artists, Lives, Lessons on January 15, 2009 at 11:20 am

A song that has been on my playlist for more than a while – Tori Amos’ cover of Leonard Cohen’s Famous Blue Raincoat.


It’s four in the morning, the end of December.
I’m writing you now to see if you’re better.
New York is cold, but I like where I’m living.
There’s music on Clinton Street all through the evening.

I hear that you’re building your little house deep in the desert.
You’re living for nothing now.
Hope you’re keeping some kind of record.

Yes, and Jane came by with a lock of your hair.
She said that you gave it to her,
On the night that you planned to go clear.
Did you ever go clear?

Last time I saw you, you looked so much older,
Your famous blue raincoat, torn at the shoulder.
Been to the station to meet every train.
You came home alone without Lilly Marlene.
You treated my woman to a flake of your life,
And when she came back, she was nobody’s wife.

Well, I see you there with a rose in your teeth-
One more thin Gypsy thief. I see Jane’s awake.
She sends her regards.
Mmm… heaha… heh-ha… mmm-mmm…

What can I tell you, my brother, my killer,
What can I possibly say?
Hey, I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you,
I’m glad you stood in my way.

If you ever come by here for Jane or for me,
Well, your enemy is sleeping now an’ his woman is free.
Well, thanks for the trouble you took from her eyes.
I thought it was there for good, so I never tried.

And Jane came by with a lock of your hair.
She said that you gave it to her,
On the night that you planned to go… clear.
Sincerely, L. Cohen.

Lyric Snippets of the Day

In (Not)Semi-Poetic Gibberish, Authors, Artists, Lives, Lessons on December 11, 2008 at 8:07 am

“Hey Jupiter
Nothings been the same
So are you gay?
Are you blue?
Thought we both could use a friend to run to”

~ Hey Jupiter, Tori Amos

“Once I wanted to be the greatest
No wind or waterfall could stop me
And then came the rush of the flood
Stars at night turned you to dust

Lower me down
Pin me in
Secure the grounds
For the later parade”

~ The Greatest, Cat Power

“Here in this hole that we have fixed
we get futher and further and further
from what we must do
I saw you asleep beside a hole
your skull inside that hole
your eyes blackened by the sound and the thought of god
where should I hang my head?
where would you like for me to hang my head?”

~ In This Hole, Cat Power

“I’m not sure who’s fooling who here
as I’m watching your decay
we both know you could deflate
a 7 hurricane
you could have spared her – oh but no
messiahs need people dying in their name
you say “i ordered you a pancake”
you say “i ordered you a pancake”

~ Pancake, Tori Amos